Mother Nature
It seems that Rover rolled right over my enthusiasm. It is hard to get back into the spirit when oppression gets in the way. The weather lately has been great for being lazy and for sleeping. Even there, though, sleeping isn't all that comfortable because central air wasn't invented when this apartment building was built. You sweat to move, breathe, and sleep.
Our little store closed at work, so I found myself making a run to the drugstore during my measly half-hour lunch. I actually felt a couple of rain drops. The sidewalk even looked a bit wet. I don't know where the rain went, though. I never actually saw it. Good old Mother Nature decided since the earth had some water, the temperature could rise. And so could tempers.
Mother Nature is quite an interesting character in my mind. I picture her as a spiteful old spinster who has nothing better to do than get bitchy with the world. Maybe she needs to get herself a Father Nature. I don't seem to remember anyone ever mentioning him. She'd probably strike him thrice with lightning anyway.
So, Mother Nature is dressed in what used to be white and is now yellowed with age. She has a relatively youthful appearance except for a few permanent wrinkles that plastic surgery can't remove. She signs all contracts in invisible ink and can't be trusted. By the time you think you have it made in the weather department, the ink begins to fade and all you have is a worthless piece of paper. And, that is when the trouble really begins.
She'll rain on your parade every time and hide the rainbows in the mud. The sunshine you see is actually an optical illusion that is actually the door to the furnace. Clouds are really not as soft as they look. They are loaded with milk of magnesia that threaten to spill at any time. Thunder is more than just the Gods bowling. In is Mother Nature stuck in a loop throwing her most imperfect game filled with nothing but gutter balls. Lightning is her anger at having to replay the humiliation.
Floods happen when she gets upset. She has never been one to control her emotions and finds that she has bottomless tear ducts. With the floods come the mudslides. She always did enjoy playing in the muck. Somehow, we need to find a way to make Mother Nature happy.
Mother Nature needs to get laid.
Our little store closed at work, so I found myself making a run to the drugstore during my measly half-hour lunch. I actually felt a couple of rain drops. The sidewalk even looked a bit wet. I don't know where the rain went, though. I never actually saw it. Good old Mother Nature decided since the earth had some water, the temperature could rise. And so could tempers.
Mother Nature is quite an interesting character in my mind. I picture her as a spiteful old spinster who has nothing better to do than get bitchy with the world. Maybe she needs to get herself a Father Nature. I don't seem to remember anyone ever mentioning him. She'd probably strike him thrice with lightning anyway.
So, Mother Nature is dressed in what used to be white and is now yellowed with age. She has a relatively youthful appearance except for a few permanent wrinkles that plastic surgery can't remove. She signs all contracts in invisible ink and can't be trusted. By the time you think you have it made in the weather department, the ink begins to fade and all you have is a worthless piece of paper. And, that is when the trouble really begins.
She'll rain on your parade every time and hide the rainbows in the mud. The sunshine you see is actually an optical illusion that is actually the door to the furnace. Clouds are really not as soft as they look. They are loaded with milk of magnesia that threaten to spill at any time. Thunder is more than just the Gods bowling. In is Mother Nature stuck in a loop throwing her most imperfect game filled with nothing but gutter balls. Lightning is her anger at having to replay the humiliation.
Floods happen when she gets upset. She has never been one to control her emotions and finds that she has bottomless tear ducts. With the floods come the mudslides. She always did enjoy playing in the muck. Somehow, we need to find a way to make Mother Nature happy.
Mother Nature needs to get laid.
posted by Vickie at 7:00 PM
3 Comments:
"Mother nature needs to get laid." That's awesome, V. I enjoyed this assessment very much. :o)
lmfao V! This is fucking excellent - LOVE that last line ;)
Thank you both. You know that I often start writing and end up on a tangent. This was one example of that.
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