September Mourn

3/30/02 (appeared in the sixth edition of Book of Remembrance)

Mike sat with his back to the window, bent over his computer. He was deep in concentration testing the bit of code before him. When the light from the window behind him faded, Mike adjusted his position so he could see better. He was vaguely aware of the noises around him, but simply did not have the time right now to care. He heard one incredible noise and knew he should check it out, but kept working instead. His nose was inches from the screen now. Why was it so dark? Mike kept working. Just a few more minutes! He thought to himself.

Someone knocked frantically on his door. Mike looked up. Irritated now, he jumped when Sarah, his co-worker, opened his office door with enough force to make it hit the wall.

The normally soft-spoken Sarah screamed, "Mike. We have to get out!"

"What's going on, Sarah?" Mike asked bewildered.

"We've been hit! We have to leave now!" Sarah screamed at him. She ran into his office and tried to pull him out of his chair.

"Sarah, let go of me! What is wrong with you? What do you mean, we've been hit?" As Mike pushed Sarah away and looked out the window. "What the hell?"

"Mike, come on," Sarah was crying. "The building's been hit, we have to leave. Right now." Sarah barely got the words out. Mike pulled her to him and proffered a hug.

"Been hit by what, Sarah?"

"We don't know. Please, can we go?"

With one last look at the computer screen, Mike reluctantly followed Sarah from the office. "It will be okay, Sarah." Mike figured he would be back at his computer before the morning was out. He did not know how wrong he was.

"We have to take the stairs. It is a long way down. Are you ready?" As they headed for the EXIT sign above staircase doors, they joined the throng of people heading in the same direction. Sarah was more composed and took the lead.

Mike was still confused and allowed Sarah to lead him. "What the hell is going on?"

A voice on his right answered him promptly. "A plane crashed into the building about twenty-five floors above us."

"A plane? How?"

"They don't know that yet. The radio," the speaker pointed to his headphones, "isn't giving much information. I think we are lucky we still have power."

By now, Mike and Sarah entered the stairwell and were on their way down the first flight of stairs. The man with the voice was behind them and relayed his information to others in the stairwell. The going was slow since people from the upper floors joined them and with each flight landing, they met people from the lower floors.

Most people behaved well. No one pushed or shoved. Everyone talked quietly as they made their way slowly down the congested stairs. Mike leaned over the railing and saw a sea of people all the way down. He held Sarah's hand trying to comfort her. He also needed a bit of comforting since he was still irritated at having to leave his project. He was so close!

A few floors lower, the staircase reverberated with a deafening noise that stopped everyone in their tracks. Dust rained down on them from above as the entire building shook. "What was that?" Mike asked loudly.

"I don't know!" This reply came back at him from several people.

"Keep moving!" urged Mike.

Everyone was quieter as the man with the voice removed his earphones from the radio jack and increased the volume. After a few minutes, they learned that a second plane had crashed into the other building and they were evacuating both buildings. Both buildings were on fire at the upper floors.

"What the hell is going on?" Mike swore again. Sarah sobbed quietly. Mike threw a protective arm around her shoulders. "It's okay, honey. It's going to be all right." Even as he said this, Mike noticed the temperature in the stairwell increase. The combination of body heat from all of these people, the exertion, and who knew what else made the air around them quite stale.

Mike removed his tie. After fishing out his handkerchief from the breast pocket of his jacket, he shrugged out of the jacket. He handed the inadequate square to Sarah and threw his jacket over his shoulder. In doing so, he hit the woman behind him with the fabric. He looked behind him sheepishly and apologized. "I am so sorry." She smiled at him and waved his apology away.

Mike's shirt clung to him in its dampness. He was tired, but kept moving. Mike always liked working on the fiftieth floor of this building. He felt powerful this high above the city. More important, though, he always felt safe and had a terrific view. Mike blanched when he remembered the last view from that window. Now he knew that falling debris caused the premature darkness. He wished he had paid more attention.

"Mike, are you okay?" Sarah asked hoarsely. She wasn't sobbing anymore, but was still visibly fearful.

"Yeah, Sarah, I'm okay. I'm just thinking."

Sarah gave his arm a reassuring squeeze and said "Don't" which made Mike smile.

Just then, Mike and Sarah heard a commotion below them. A voice followed the commotion, "You're almost there, folks! Everyone okay here? People are waiting for you on the ground floor. Just keep calm and keep moving." They repeated this message several more times as firefighters made their way upward through the throng in a single file.

As the firefighters made it to the landing just below where Mike and Sarah were standing, the woman in front of Mike tripped. Mike reached out to steady her just as the first firefighter caught her from the front. "Are you okay, Ma'am?" She nodded. "You're almost there. Take it nice and easy now." Mike and Sarah took up positions on either side of her, but she insisted she was fine.

"That is great, but, even so, let's walk down together, shall we? This is Sarah and I am Mike." Mike signaled to the firefighter that everything was under control. The firefighters continued their trek up the stairs.

"Thanks, Mike, Sarah. I am Anne." After a bit of small talk, all three fell silent. Even the voice with the radio was conspicuously absent. Mike did not envy the firefighters their jobs. Each man carried equipment with him making the upward journey even more of an exertion than it already was.

A few minutes later, Mike, Sarah, and Anne reached the main floor. When they exited the stairwell, they felt a slight difference in the air quality. Chills went through Mike's spine. Man, was he tired!

The throng ahead of them headed for the doors. The crowd carried the three of them along. They heard voices ahead, "You have to get out of the building. Now!"

Chaos reigned on the street. Sarah had Mike's hand in a death grip as they waded through the ashes on the sidewalk. They heard more voices, "Please move away from the building!" Mike and Sarah needed no further prompting. They walked fast and almost blindly because of the ash that rained down on them. They lost Anne at the doorway.

After half a block, they heard an explosion. Terrible crashing noises followed this. Mike glanced back in time to see the building folding in upon itself. Huge clouds of smoke and dust formed and were coming right toward them! "Oh, Shit!" Mike screamed. He grabbed Sarah's hand and screamed "Run!" Mike threw his jacket over their heads to offer some protection. Within minutes, though, soot and sweat covered them. They ran for a long time. Everyone around them ran as well. Finally, they stopped at the base of the bridge. Each of them was bent over to catch their breaths. Several other people stopped as well and everyone was coughing from the soot they inhaled and the exertion of running for so long.

Mike asked Sarah, "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I think so." Sufficiently recovered, yet incredibly weary, they turned to look in the direction they had come. Sometime while they ran, the second building had collapsed. All they saw now were billows of smoke shot with red flames. Tears streamed down Mike's face as he took in the sight.

"What happens now?" Sarah asked.

Mike shook his head and said, "I don't know."




==++==




"Well, Sarah, where do you want to go?"

"Home, I guess. I really need a shower. I think I will burn these clothes."

"I know what you mean. So, tell me, is there anyone at home waiting for you?"

"No, I live alone. I am divorced."

"Me, too."

"In fact, my ex-husband works in the building. Oh, my God! Mike!"

"Don't jump to conclusions, Sarah! Anything is possible. We got out, and we're safe. You know I never thanked you. You saved my life today."

"No, Mike, if anything, you saved mine. I don't know what I would have done without you!"

"Nonsense! . . . The least I can do is get you home safely."

The city had set up a shuttle bus service to transport workers from the city to the suburbs. Mike and Sarah found seats on the shuttle. When they reached Sarah's neighborhood, both of them got off. Mike only lived a few blocks away and would walk the rest of the way.

"Will you be okay, Sarah?" Mike asked as he walked her to her door.

"Yeah, I think so. I guess so. I don't know. Shit, Mike, my keys were in my purse. I left it at the office."

"Well, it's gone now. Do you have a spare key?"

Sarah was almost in tears again. "No! Oh, wait a minute. My neighbor has one. She fed my cat while I was away last week."

Ten minutes later, Sarah and Mike were inside Sarah's house. "I know you're beat, so I'm going to go. Can I call you later just to see how you are?"

"Sure Mike." Sarah scribbled her number on a piece of paper and gave it to him. "Thank you for everything."

"Do you need anything? Money?"

"No, really, a shower is all I need right now. I'll be okay. Thanks."

Mike walked home then. Sarah had asked him "What happens now?" Mike still didn't have any answers. Sarah was right, though, a shower sounded like heaven. He couldn't remember being this sore and tired. He was filthy as well.

A few minutes later, Mike opened his front door and entered the clean interior of his home. His first stop was the kitchen. At the refrigerator, he grabbed a bottle of water and pulled a garbage bag from under the sink. He then headed to the bathroom. He peeled off all of this clothes and stuffed them into the garbage bag. Turning the hot water on in the shower, Mike glanced at himself in the mirror. He saw a ghostly white body staring back at him with blackened hands and face. He looked as if he had grease paint makeup on. Mike just shook his head and stepped into the shower.

He let the water wash over him for a long time. Once he felt revived enough, he lathered up with soap and felt the dirt leave his body and spirit. Mike turned the shower off as the water lost its heat. He felt better. After wrapping a towel around his waist, he went in search of some clean clothes. Fortified with cleanliness, Mike realized he had missed lunch and was suddenly very hungry. He found some leftovers in the refrigerator and fixed himself a light lunch.

He stopped at the answering machine on his way to the living room. The machine registered eight messages! Mike never got that many messages, so it was surprising. Each message was the same, they had heard what happened and were calling to make sure he was okay. Mike would have to return some calls, but he was not up to it right now. He was, however, very curious what the media was saying about this morning.

The television carried the story on every channel and Mike was both shocked and appalled by what he heard. After a few minutes of channel surfing, he switched to his favorite news channel to watch their version of the story. It was much like watching a nightmare, only this one was real and Mike had been an unsuspecting participant. He saw his building and its partner become prey to mechanical birds. He saw the explosions and resulting fires and, finally, the collapse. The whole thing was too much to deal with. Even so, the story did not end there. Mike heard the details of a similar attack at the Pentagon. What is this world coming to? By the time they mentioned the fourth airplane, Mike was in tears again.

The phone rang and Mike ignored it. He shut off the television and sat numbly staring at the blank screen. He must have fallen asleep. Mike awoke and automatically reached for the ringing phone.

"Hello?"

"Mike? Thank God you're okay! I called earlier and left a message. Why didn't you call me back?"

"Mom, I haven't called anyone yet. I wasn't ready to talk to anyone yet."

"But, you are okay?"

"Yes, I'm fine. Tell everyone that I am okay and I will talk to them in a few days. Can you do that for me?"

"Sure, honey. You know I love you?"

"Yeah, Mom. I know. I love you, too. I'll talk to you later."

"Well, okay, bye, Mike."

"Bye, Mom."

Mike realized that he had lied to his mother. There was one person that Mike wanted to talk to, Sarah. He found her number and dialed the phone. Sarah answered on the second ring.

"Hello?" She sounded tired.

"Sarah? This is Mike."

"Hi, Mike. How are you?"

"Oh, Sarah, I'm a mess. Have you been watching the news?"

"Yes. It's unbelievable. I was there and I still find it hard to believe!"

"Yeah, me too. And I'm definitely not ready to talk about it. My mother called and I pretty much blew her off! I told her I would call in a few days."

"I know how you feel. How come you can talk to me then?" Sarah was teasing and Mike knew it.

"You were there. You know."

"Yes, I know."

"I keep thinking I've got to do this, that, and the other. But, most of that is gone. It all crumbled when the building did. I don't even know whether I still have a job. If the company still exists, the office certainly doesn't. I was an hour away from deadline on the security project! I've spent day and night for the last three months inside that project! I have nothing left of it."

"I know how hard you worked on it Mike. It's a tragedy. You know, you always said that it should have been scrapped and rewritten. You can still do it now. Write your own code, Mike, and do it right!"

"I could do that, I suppose. Do we still have a client? I mean, we did miss the deadline. They were pretty firm on that."

"I'm sure something can be worked out. I mean, we missed the deadline, but look at the circumstances."

"Yeah. We'll see."

Sarah and Mike talked for a few minutes more. The attempt to make sense of their lives was futile. Neither of them knew enough to know what tomorrow would bring. They agreed to take care of the immediate problems and talk again the next day. Sarah needed an inventory of the contents of her purse and would call the credit card companies for replacement cards. She had no concerns about the cards since they were probably melting as she thought about it. Sarah also would call a locksmith and have keys made for the house. If that could not be done, she would change all of the locks. Mike, on the other hand, was to call the corporate offices to see what their next move was. If they rebuilt the division, Mike would do everything he could to help. If not, he needed to find another source of income.